Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
