Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
