woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We need to get me chipped asap
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
