Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
