My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
