but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
