You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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