Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i love accidental penises.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
