I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
