Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
