I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
