Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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