I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
and you fell through a lawn chair
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
