there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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