Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
