Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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