I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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