I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Randomize
