In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
