Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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