Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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