her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I need to align my fucking chakras
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
