I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
