I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
