I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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