You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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