Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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