Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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