i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
