Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
