now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
