Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
