well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Randomize
