she woke up with a sticky ear
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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