i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
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