I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
