Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
