yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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