either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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