how can u be prego again
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
