Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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