I'm really into asian looking animals
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
