You can't special order awesome
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
