So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
