Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
