maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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