I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
