if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
