I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
