You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Randomize
