i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
